Life's Pop Quiz

As a Children's Pastor, mother of four and homeschooling parent I get many opportunities to teach.  Sometimes I teach school lessons, like how to solve equations or the proper use of their, they're and there.  Other times I teach practical life skills, like how to sew on a button or bake a cake.  I even get to teach and experience spiritual lessons, like when I took communion and prayed with my family tonight after dinner.  And then there are the times that I teach life lessons, like practice make perfect and life isn't fair.

One of my favorite little boys in Kid's Church had this rotten habit of whining when things didn't go his way.  He could be in the back of the room, but I could hear it coming.  A long, drawn-out "Aaawww" followed by a huff as he crossed his arms over his chest, slumped his shoulders and frowned.  Some people cringe at the sound of nails on a blackboard.  That's what this sound did to me. After a few weeks of this, I began countering by placing my hand on his shoulder, looking him straight in the eye, and saying "You know what?  Life's not fair."  Initially he'd roll his eyes and stomp off, but eventually he started to get it.  He began whining less and less until all I had to say was "You know what?" and he'd reply "Life's not fair!" and smile that big endearing smile that I love.  

I am truly grateful that God gives me opportunities to teach.  I enjoy teaching kids and adults alike.  Before I was called to ministry I was attending school to become an English teacher.

The funny thing about lessons....in order to teach them, we have to learn them.  Some of the lessons we learn come with a refresher pop quiz when you least expect it.

Today was pop quiz day.  Today I got a refresher course in "Life's not fair."

As a result of prior misuse of priviledge by others, my daughter has a difficult choice to make.  As a homeschooler we thought she would be able to have dual-enrollment status and take some elective classes at the local middle school and some through a neighboring district's homeschool program.  Unbeknownst to us, this policy was changed a few years ago.  Those we know who are still dual-enrolled are able to do so because they had this status before the policy change.  Unfortunately we have one day to make the decision since we found out today, the current semester ends tomorrow and the new semester begins Monday.  If she choses the new program she has to go to school  tomorrow and tell her friends and teachers that it will be her last day.  If she chooses to remain at the local school she will be giving up the opportunity to try something new, meet new friends and take advantage of additional curriculum and resources.

She's been so great about the whole thing.  She made a list of the pros and cons of both options.  She did some extra research and weighed her options.  She agreed to take tonight to pray about it before making her final decision in the morning.  She handled the news much better than I did.  I cried.  

This is the second time I've written this particular post.  The first time I vented. Okay, I whined.  I huffed, crossed my arms, slumped my shoulders and frowned.  Not literally of course, but figuratively, with my words.  As I was typing, I thought to myself, "You know what?"  and I heard that little voice answer back "Life's not fair!" and I saw that big smile in my mind.  Then I hit the delete button and started all over.

Life isn't fair.  My heart hurts for my little girl and the decision she will make tomorrow morning.  I know this decision will pale in comparison to the ones she will have to make as an adult, but it doesn't make it any easier.  I know this won't be the last time someone else's actions will affect my child.  

In the midst of it all, I know that as much as this blindsided me, God wasn't taken by surprise.  "This is what the LORD says, he who made the earth, the LORD who formed it and established it - the LORD is his name: 'Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.'" (Jeremiah 33:2-3)  God, the God who made the earth, hears my heart's cry.  He listens to me when I whine and when I pout.  He doesn't promise life will be fair, but He promises He will hear me when I call to Him.  "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  (Jeremiah 29:11)  God has a plan for my family and for my daughter.  In the midst of it all, whatever decision she makes tomorrow I'm excited to see what God has in store.

You know what?  Life's not fair, and that's okay!

Just a virus...

Today my dear friend posted that her 5-year-old son has had a fever and headache for the last couple days.  This might not seem like a big deal to most people.  The majority of my facebook friends have children, so my feed is full of posts detailing the various children and adults who have succummed to this cold or that flu.  (Some of you people share way too much information about your illnesses with the rest of the world!)  So why was this illness post different?  What makes this child's fever blog-worthy?

Four years ago this child had a fever that just didn't seem to want to go away.  My friend took him to the doctor.  "Just a virus" they said.  He was admitted to the hospital for three days.  "Just a virus" they said.  The fever persisted.  The pain began.  The fears surfaced.

      Isn't he adorable?

Finally they were referred to a specialist who was concerned enough to order a CT scan.

January 19, 2010 - the day of the CT scan.  January 19, 2010 - the day my friend's life, her son's life, the entire family's life and the lives of those who love and care for them changed.  January 19. 2010 - the day my friend heard the words "your son" and "abdominal mass" in the same sentance.

A week later her son was diagnosed with stage 4 neuroblasoma. According the to National Library of Medicine, "Neuroblastoma is a malignant (cancerous) tumor that develops from nerve tissue. It usually occurs in infants and children."  As you can imagine, stage 4 is the last thing any cancer patient or parent wants to hear.  When dealing with stage 4 neuroblastoma doctors don't talk in survival rates, they talk in chances of relapse.  My friend's son was given a 25-33% chance of making it all the way through treatment and never, ever having the cancer return.

        Between treatments!  Look mom, no hair!

My friend has now watched her son go through almost two years of treatments, countless tests, buckets of tears and radiant smiles, thousands of prayers, and another two years of followup tests.  Each test, each fever, each ache and pain brings with it a stab of fear that the cancer has returned.

      First Day of Kindergarten Sept 2013

Each day seven children die from cancer.  Statistically 60% of childhood cancer is diagnosed in children under the age of 5.  Sadly, only 4% of federal cancer research funds go towards finding a cure for childhood cancers.  The 'cures' for childhood cancer bring with them life-long side effects.  Do you see the hearing aid in the above picture?

These facts and statistics are unacceptable to those who are living this nightmare.  Each day is a reminder that tomorrow life could change again.  Today's fever brings with it a fear that so many parents will never know.  

My friend took her son to the doctor today.  "Just a virus" they said.  Tonight my friend went to sleep praying that this time they are right.  

What can the rest of us do?  Raise awareness, raise funds, raise our kids to care. As you tuck your children in, hug them to pieces, fuss at them for leaving their dirty clothes on the floor...again, soothe their fevers and quiet their coughs, I ask that you remember my friend and the thousands like her who pray that their children do not relapse, who pray that it is indeed, "just a virus".