This Busy Season

Ecclesiastes 3 starts off with "There is a time for everything, a season for every activity under the heavens:" After this follows a list of all the different types of seasons life throws at us, and you can read all about that here.

However, there are times in my life where that first verse seems to be happening in a literal sense. Instead of individual seasons, "every activity under the heavens" seem to be happening at once. These are times when I feel like I'm running at full speed to get down the block, but then when I stop to catch my breath I realized I've circumnavigated the globe...twice!  It's at these moments that I discover I have good reason to be tired, and worn out, and lacking motivation.

I've started a number of profound posts that never were finished or published.  (Okay, they seemed profound at the time I started typing.)  Here are a couple of them...

I started this blog post at the end of August...

"I am taking the day off!  I haven't had a true day off in over 3 months.

As a wife, mother, children's pastor, sister and friend my duties are varied and extensive.  Being as it is the end of August, I have just finished the busiest season of my life!  I participated in 4 weddings, 3 camps, 3 trips out of state and 1 yard sale.  In the midst of all this I didn't take a single day of vacation. I didn't need to, I still put in enough hours at to fulfill my work expectations even when I had to be out of town part of the week. 

I realized a few weeks ago that the last time I had a day where I did not have to leave the house for any reason was July 5th.  

Don't get me wrong, there were some perks to the crazy summer I've had!  I had some firsts this summer and I had a lot of fun!  I planned my first bachelorette party for a friend, I sang karaoke, I hiked to hot springs, I performed 2 weddings, I met new people and explored new areas, I got to watch my daughter fall in love, I discovered that God has given me an amazing team that can handle things while I'm away..." 

And I started this blog post the first week of November...

"It is November!"

I can't speak for everyone, but usually that statement is followed by "Wow, I can't believe it is already November!"  Or "Already?  Where has the year gone?"  Or "Man, this year went by quick!"

Not me!  Here's what had followed that statement in my thoughts for the past week...

"It is finally November!"

"I made it to November!"

"Praise God!  It's November!!!!"

That's what had been rolling through my thoughts and even escaping from my lips since 12:02 am on November 1st.  I know because at that time I was sitting in bed unable to sleep due to the pure euphoria that was bubbling from the very center of my being!

Let me explain...this has been quite a year for me and my family.  In addition to being a homeschool mom to my 3 teenage girls, a magic mom to my 7 year old son (that's another post) and lovingly understanding wife to a man who is trying to deal with being unable to do the work he's done for 15 years, I am also on staff as a children's pastor and I fulfill two volunteer positions within the Northwest Ministry Network.  I am blessedly busy!  

God has given me some unique opportunities this year to serve Him in ways I never thought possible!  Speaking opportunities! Camps! Weddings! Add to that the fact that our oldest got her first job and is now engaged!  You can guess that I may have been going a little bonkers this year!

Don't get me wrong, I love my life!  I wouldn't trade my husband, my kids or my job for anything!  I simply have a new appreciation for November!

Why?  The hard stuff for the year is over!  I have no more major events to plan until January! Next week I get to spend three days with with some of the most fabulous people I know, my peers in ministry, at the NWMN annual children's leadership conference!  I have almost three weeks of vacation to use up!  I can begin making plans for Thanksgiving and Christmas!  I can get stuff done around my house!  I can focus on school assignments with my kids! I can relax!

Looking over these unpublished posts, I remember them being important as I was writing them, but then busyness got in the way and they got pushed to the side.  When I finally had time to work on them again they were outdated and irrelevant.

I know this is just a season...granted, a very busy season, but just a season nonetheless.  I am so thankful that in this season I don't have to rely on my own strength to make it through.  In the chaos of this life stage, in the midst of the busyness, in the pressures and stresses of juggling all that makes up my life, I can rely on the power and strength that comes from my Savior.  Praise God!

Wide awake...

I am laying here wide awake when I should be sleeping.  The laundry is done, my suitcase is packed, I'm too excited/nervous to sleep!

Tomorrow is a big day, I will speak the words in my heart to be critiqued by a woman I respect and admire.  Then the next day I will speak those same words in front of potentially hundreds of women I have never met.  Those words will be recorded to be heard by many more women.

God has given me a head full of thoughts.  He has given me words to express those thoughts.  He has given me a voice to express those words.

I pray God gives me something that others need to hear, and I pray the words come out of my mouth like a sweet melody.  Each of us has a voice, and in each of our lives is someone who needs to hear what God has put into our hearts and minds.  I need to hear what I have to say most of all!

Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body. (Proverbs 16:24 ESV)

What's that???

The #40bagsin40days challenge continues!

Found this really cool thing in my office today...I hear it is called a desk!  Woohoo!  Didn't get pics yet, still have a basket and pile to sort through before it is fully done.  

Oh, and there's this thing in my garage called a floor!  Today we unloaded 7 bags of clothes, shoes, purses and other textiles to a friend for her daughter's fundraiser.  Yesterday I shipped off our outside cat, her cat tree, blankets and dishes.  It is an amazing feeling to be able to walk through our garage without fearing for our life.

G'night...more to accomplish tomorrow!

Letting Go of Labels

For the past few days I've been sharing about my #40bagsin40days challenge. Yesterday was Sunday, so I took a rest day. Yes, you can do that. Instead of looking for something to declutter I crocheted an adorable baby blanket with matching hat to donate to a special project and watched some Stargate SG-1. Crocheting and sci-fi, the next best thing to a Sunday afternoon nap!

So pretty!

Today I spent a very long day at work. One might say I was decluttering my to-do list, but that's only exciting to me, so I won't go into detail.  

When I got home I still felt like I needed to tackle a decluttering project. So I decided to work on my purse/tote bag collection. 

Bear with me here, this one has a bit of a backstory... I love bags and purses of all kinds. I am fairly hard on them, and I don't have a whole lot of money to spend so I take whatever is given to me or whatever I stumble upon at a really great price (translation, thrift stores and clearance). About a year and a half ago I started making my own purses because I wasn't happy with the quality or size or look of the purses in the price range I was willing to pay. So in addition to my cute, but sometimes impractical, finds I had all sorts of purses I created, sometimes out of need and sometimes out of boredom.  

I've always thought this one was adorable, but it's way too small for my busy life.

My oldest daughter designed this one.  She's so talented!

As you can imagine, I've amassed quite a collection which was housed in a rather large tote in the bottom of my closet.  The tote was overflowing with bags I didn't use or hadn't used in quite a while.

I recently received a Miche purse and a couple shells from my sister-friend, Kellie. [Sister-friend, noun, a girlfriend who is so much a part of your life that she may as well be your sister.] Since then I have added a shell and hosted a party so I can get an all-purpose laptop/carry-all-my-crud-at-conferences bag. I began to realize that if I am going to own, and continue to buy accessories for, such well-made and versatile pieces, I have no reason to keep my ever-growing pile of purses, tote bags, and such.

As I dug through the rather large, overflowing bin in the bottom of my closet, I came across this beauty.

That's right!  A very expensive Burberry of London purse.  This purse was so perfect.  It was a great size and design for the stuff I carry around.  I felt spoiled and special when I carried it, although I didn't pay a dime for it.  (My neighbor got it and had never used it, so she passed it on to me with a bunch of other stuff she was cleaning out of her basement. Seriously, I don't make this stuff up.) This was my favorite purse of all time, until the strap broke, 5 years ago. 

I've kept it in that bin, in the bottom of the closet all this time.  Every time I'd see it peeking out or come across it when rummaging through, I'd think to myself "I can't get rid of that purse. I love that purse.  One of these days I'll take it to a leather shop and get new handles made for it. Besides, it's a Burberry, I can't just toss a Burberry!"

So for 5 years that treasure has been tucked away, protected from dust by all the other treasures tossed in that bin.  Any other purse would have been yard sale fodder by this time, but this one was different.  This one cost someone a lot of money at one time.  

It was totally unusable, but I couldn't seem to let it go. It was valuable because of it's label.

Oh, the power of labels!  Whether something is worthless or valuable.  Whether something deserves our time and attention or doesn't.  Someone chose to put a label on a item sewn together with thread.  That label automatically attached a price tag to the item.  The price tag made the item valuable, even though it was functionally worthless.

We do that with people.  We judge them by their labels.  We decide whether or not they are worthless or valuable. Whether they deserve our time and attention.  

The Burberry purse had a fancy label, yet was worthless.  The purse my daughter designed had no fancy label, yet means the world to me.  

Today's declutter yielded two bags full of purses, and a very important life lesson.

Today, I am letting go of labels. Value should not be determined by labels, but by the true value of and item, or a person. People are so much more.  What do you think?

A Different Kind of Clutter

Clutter can be found in the most unlikely of places.  Hidden in a drawer, stuck in the center console in the car, at the bottom of a purse.  Regardless of where it it's found, clutter is a joy killing, time stealing, enery hogging pain in the rump.  I spend countless hours each year sorting through piles, trying to find missing items and moving random things from one room or surface to another.  One area where I have been noticing a lot of clutter lately isn't in the physical world, but in the virtual world. 

I am an Apple girl.  I have an iPhone, an iPad and my work computer is a MacBook.  I love my digital devices!  With everything I'm involved in they come in handy since I can share info across them all.  Over the past 6 months I've begun to feel the effects of virtual clutter taking over.  I had an iPhone with 16 GB and an iPad with 64 GB...so I had plenty of space available for clutter to start piling up.  I use both devices for personal stuff and for work.  My kids found lots of game apps that they enjoyed playing on my iPad, which would advertise another fun game that they would enjoy playing, which would advertise another....you get the idea.  

Last fall, in an effort to cut costs and pay a bill, I sold my 16 GB iPhone and spent about a month using a less expensive phone.  It drove me nuts, so I decided to go with an 8GB iPhone when my upgrade became available.  The price was right (free is always good), but even better, it forced me to downsize and think about that apps I was installing.  

The first apps to go were Facebook and any other form of social media.  I didn't quit them completely, I simply chose not to install the apps on the new phone.  I had noticed that because my phone is small and fits so nicely in my hand, it usually was.  I found myself accessing social media constantly throughout the day.  I also chose not to install all the excess games or any apps that I didn't need.  My one favorite game made the cut, but said 'no' to the others.

It felt weird, yet freeing at the same time.  However, I still had 64 GB of clutter on my iPad.  

I contemplated deleting everything and starting over, but that didn't seem fair to the kids, who had done a lot on my iPad over the past year and a half.

When we decided to get a iPad for the kids to use for school, we ended up with a 16 GB iPad Air.  The lightness of the new device and the fact that we would be making payments on it made me hesitant to  let the kids have it, so I decided to swap and take the device with much less space giving the kids my old iPad. I have spent the past few days carefully setting up my new device.  The apps that actually serve a purpose are in, the ones that don't are out.  

There are no before and after pics for this declutter, and I can't count bags or boxes.  However, this declutter is probably one of the most important projects I will tackle during the #40bagsin40days challenge.  Sometimes, the areas that need to be decluttered the most are the ones we can't see.

A Work In Progress...

Today I continued the #40bagsin40days challenge by tackling my office at work.  I am a children's pastor in addition my wife and mom duties, and a wacky and fun office comes with the job.  Like yesterday's project, my office is one of the areas where stuff lands during the busyness of my schedule and life in general.  About four times a year wacky and fun becomes out of control and scary.

I've spent the past few weeks working outside my office most of the time and just tossing things in there when I get around to it.  I also have several events that have happened or are in the planning stages, so my office was especially messy..okay so maybe it was bordering on hazardous!

Eek!

There was so much to tackle here!  I removed a piece of clutter-catching furniture off to the far right (didn't make it into the picture). Put a bunch of stuff in it's proper place.  Threw some stuff away, and boxed some up to be recycled or donated.  I had help from two of my daughters who made today's progress possible.

Ta-Da!

It isn't totally done, but look, you can see the floor and the chairs that no one knew were there!! Now I can actually get to my desk to organize and declutter the mountain of paperwork...another project for another day!  

The Challenge Begins...

Got clutter?  I do!  So I decided to take the #40bagsin40days challenge! 

The idea of the challenge is to conquer one area in your world each day for 40 days, corresponding with the time of Lent.  Each day in addition to decluttering, the idea is to get rid of at least one bag of items from that area, whether it be trashed, donated or recycled.  We all have stuff taking over our homes, workplaces and lives in general.  Stuff that either sounded good at the time, has outlived it's usefulness, or has taken residence in our lives against our better judgment.  The idea of the challenge isn't to simply move our piles around, but to get rid of it; to simplify our lives by removing the excess stuff.  This decluttering, or "decrapifying", as Ann Marie at whitehouseblackshutters.com calls it, can take place in every area of our life, even the non-physical. (i.e. e-mail inboxes, contact lists, Pintrest boards {gasp}).

I discovered the challenge late last night, the day it started.  Really late, as in already-in-my-jammies, ain't-doin'-nothin'-else, late.  As I sat there thinking I would have to start a day late, which bummed me out a bit, I realized the reason I was tired was that I had spent several hours purging, organizing and generally 'decrapifying' one of my workspaces.  Hey, I'm counting it!  So I won't have pictures to document Day 1, but that's okay.  I'm not the best at being consistent, so I can't guarantee that I'll manage to post every day, but I'm willing to give it my best shot.  I will attempt to take before and after pictures or at least keep track of what I do from day-to-day and fill everyone in from time to time.

So here I go, today's declutter: my side of the bed!  

Scary, right?

This has to be the worst area of my home that is frequently trafficked by me.  I mean, we all have those areas we shove stuff into but never really see...the old "outta sight, outta mind" type of clutter.  This doesn't fall into that category, because unless I'm traveling, I see it every day.  That is part of the reason it looks so horrid, and definitely the reason it made it to the top of the priority list.  This is where I sit to relax, study, and it is right by my closet, so in the busyness of my life, it gets dumped on the most. 

Lately this area has gotten so bad that I can't sit in my chair...yep, that's a chair under all that...stuff! 

I figured this would be a great place to tackle for Day 2.  So I popped in my favorite mindless cleaning DVD, Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy (BBC version of course) and set to work.  

Two hours later, after many interruptions by social media and my kiddos, I was done!

I managed to total three bags a box and a large item today; 1 bag of trash, 2 bags of items to donate, a box of papers to recycle and a large foam wedge pillow.  Not sure yet what I will tackle on Day 3, but I'm excited to keep the momentum going!

What areas do you need to declutter?  Do you have a favorite cleaning movie or type of music you prefer?  Do share! 

Life's Pop Quiz

As a Children's Pastor, mother of four and homeschooling parent I get many opportunities to teach.  Sometimes I teach school lessons, like how to solve equations or the proper use of their, they're and there.  Other times I teach practical life skills, like how to sew on a button or bake a cake.  I even get to teach and experience spiritual lessons, like when I took communion and prayed with my family tonight after dinner.  And then there are the times that I teach life lessons, like practice make perfect and life isn't fair.

One of my favorite little boys in Kid's Church had this rotten habit of whining when things didn't go his way.  He could be in the back of the room, but I could hear it coming.  A long, drawn-out "Aaawww" followed by a huff as he crossed his arms over his chest, slumped his shoulders and frowned.  Some people cringe at the sound of nails on a blackboard.  That's what this sound did to me. After a few weeks of this, I began countering by placing my hand on his shoulder, looking him straight in the eye, and saying "You know what?  Life's not fair."  Initially he'd roll his eyes and stomp off, but eventually he started to get it.  He began whining less and less until all I had to say was "You know what?" and he'd reply "Life's not fair!" and smile that big endearing smile that I love.  

I am truly grateful that God gives me opportunities to teach.  I enjoy teaching kids and adults alike.  Before I was called to ministry I was attending school to become an English teacher.

The funny thing about lessons....in order to teach them, we have to learn them.  Some of the lessons we learn come with a refresher pop quiz when you least expect it.

Today was pop quiz day.  Today I got a refresher course in "Life's not fair."

As a result of prior misuse of priviledge by others, my daughter has a difficult choice to make.  As a homeschooler we thought she would be able to have dual-enrollment status and take some elective classes at the local middle school and some through a neighboring district's homeschool program.  Unbeknownst to us, this policy was changed a few years ago.  Those we know who are still dual-enrolled are able to do so because they had this status before the policy change.  Unfortunately we have one day to make the decision since we found out today, the current semester ends tomorrow and the new semester begins Monday.  If she choses the new program she has to go to school  tomorrow and tell her friends and teachers that it will be her last day.  If she chooses to remain at the local school she will be giving up the opportunity to try something new, meet new friends and take advantage of additional curriculum and resources.

She's been so great about the whole thing.  She made a list of the pros and cons of both options.  She did some extra research and weighed her options.  She agreed to take tonight to pray about it before making her final decision in the morning.  She handled the news much better than I did.  I cried.  

This is the second time I've written this particular post.  The first time I vented. Okay, I whined.  I huffed, crossed my arms, slumped my shoulders and frowned.  Not literally of course, but figuratively, with my words.  As I was typing, I thought to myself, "You know what?"  and I heard that little voice answer back "Life's not fair!" and I saw that big smile in my mind.  Then I hit the delete button and started all over.

Life isn't fair.  My heart hurts for my little girl and the decision she will make tomorrow morning.  I know this decision will pale in comparison to the ones she will have to make as an adult, but it doesn't make it any easier.  I know this won't be the last time someone else's actions will affect my child.  

In the midst of it all, I know that as much as this blindsided me, God wasn't taken by surprise.  "This is what the LORD says, he who made the earth, the LORD who formed it and established it - the LORD is his name: 'Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.'" (Jeremiah 33:2-3)  God, the God who made the earth, hears my heart's cry.  He listens to me when I whine and when I pout.  He doesn't promise life will be fair, but He promises He will hear me when I call to Him.  "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  (Jeremiah 29:11)  God has a plan for my family and for my daughter.  In the midst of it all, whatever decision she makes tomorrow I'm excited to see what God has in store.

You know what?  Life's not fair, and that's okay!

Just a virus...

Today my dear friend posted that her 5-year-old son has had a fever and headache for the last couple days.  This might not seem like a big deal to most people.  The majority of my facebook friends have children, so my feed is full of posts detailing the various children and adults who have succummed to this cold or that flu.  (Some of you people share way too much information about your illnesses with the rest of the world!)  So why was this illness post different?  What makes this child's fever blog-worthy?

Four years ago this child had a fever that just didn't seem to want to go away.  My friend took him to the doctor.  "Just a virus" they said.  He was admitted to the hospital for three days.  "Just a virus" they said.  The fever persisted.  The pain began.  The fears surfaced.

      Isn't he adorable?

Finally they were referred to a specialist who was concerned enough to order a CT scan.

January 19, 2010 - the day of the CT scan.  January 19, 2010 - the day my friend's life, her son's life, the entire family's life and the lives of those who love and care for them changed.  January 19. 2010 - the day my friend heard the words "your son" and "abdominal mass" in the same sentance.

A week later her son was diagnosed with stage 4 neuroblasoma. According the to National Library of Medicine, "Neuroblastoma is a malignant (cancerous) tumor that develops from nerve tissue. It usually occurs in infants and children."  As you can imagine, stage 4 is the last thing any cancer patient or parent wants to hear.  When dealing with stage 4 neuroblastoma doctors don't talk in survival rates, they talk in chances of relapse.  My friend's son was given a 25-33% chance of making it all the way through treatment and never, ever having the cancer return.

        Between treatments!  Look mom, no hair!

My friend has now watched her son go through almost two years of treatments, countless tests, buckets of tears and radiant smiles, thousands of prayers, and another two years of followup tests.  Each test, each fever, each ache and pain brings with it a stab of fear that the cancer has returned.

      First Day of Kindergarten Sept 2013

Each day seven children die from cancer.  Statistically 60% of childhood cancer is diagnosed in children under the age of 5.  Sadly, only 4% of federal cancer research funds go towards finding a cure for childhood cancers.  The 'cures' for childhood cancer bring with them life-long side effects.  Do you see the hearing aid in the above picture?

These facts and statistics are unacceptable to those who are living this nightmare.  Each day is a reminder that tomorrow life could change again.  Today's fever brings with it a fear that so many parents will never know.  

My friend took her son to the doctor today.  "Just a virus" they said.  Tonight my friend went to sleep praying that this time they are right.  

What can the rest of us do?  Raise awareness, raise funds, raise our kids to care. As you tuck your children in, hug them to pieces, fuss at them for leaving their dirty clothes on the floor...again, soothe their fevers and quiet their coughs, I ask that you remember my friend and the thousands like her who pray that their children do not relapse, who pray that it is indeed, "just a virus".