Simplify

Simplify

I often wake up multiple times each night, toss and turn for a few seconds and go back to sleep. I also often have vivid and weird dreams, the kind that would make a great book or movie. Then I usually forget them shortly after I wake.

Recently I woke up with the memory of a dream that was so vivid, so important that I could not go back to sleep. I knew I shouldn’t even try without writing down my dream. So at 1 am, I pulled out my personal journal and a pen and began writing. As soon as I got the dream on paper I put my journal down and went back to sleep.

In the days that followed I would come to realize that the entirety of the dream wasn’t significant, but the message was. Simplify.

I’ve heard respected women in leadership talk about their “word” for this year. It is based on the concept from Pastor Mike Ashcraft of choosing one word to move toward becoming rather than looking back and trying to fix all the things that are wrong. That’s a rather simple explanation of My One Word, but the concept intrigues me.

I first learned of the concept in April when a respected leader shared her word with a group of other women leaders, and encouraged us with that word. Throughout the rest of 2017 I borrowed her word, “Release,” and wore the reminder engraved on a bracelet on my wrist. I released some of my fear, negative expectations and self-doubt. Most importantly, I released myself to what God would have for me. His plans to empower me as a leader and use me to influence others.

In December I began to think about the one word concept and wonder if God had a word for me going into 2018. I figured I needed to set aside time to pray about it. Life was busier at the end of 2017 than I anticipated, but God wasn’t surprised, He found a way to get my one word to me in the midst of the chaos, through that dream.

The content of the dream really wasn’t important, it was rather obscure actually, it’s the message that matters. Simplify. 

My life, like many others today, is hectic. I am a wife, mother, pastor, homeschool mom, and leader. I cook, clean and do laundry. I make decisions that will determine whether my children make it to their next birthday and decisions that determine the direction of a ministry. I balance schedules and my checkbook, sometimes simultaneously. 

As if that weren’t enough there is an entire world trying to get my attention. I am constantly bombarded with appeals for my time, my money, and my compassion.  I am surrounded by the claim that someone has found the way to do what I do better or faster or cheaper. Click-bait tells me I have been doing basic tasks “wrong” my whole life. There’s always the next great thing, gadget or experience that someone wants me to know about.

There are so many things that need to be simplified in my life: my calendar, my schedule, my home, my wardrobe, my finances, my to-do list, my diet... 

I am beginning with my home and my time. To start with, I am reorganizing my entire home. This may sound daunting, but was made simpler by the fact that our apartment complex had us move out entirely for 2 weeks so they could redo our floors. We are still in the process of unpacking. This means I am going through things, getting rid of things and organizing things so they are easier to find. 

I am also simplifying my schedule and to-do list. This is made possible by a very handy, very simple planner I received for Christmas. I’m learning how to do more in less time by simplifying my workspace and raising up leaders to share the workload.

Simplify doesn’t mean easy, but as I move into 2018, I have been given a rare blessing, the permission to simplify. 

Permission? Yes! 

As I write this a new layer of my one word is revealed. What does it mean to have permission to simplify? This is something I will ponder as I live out my one word for 2018: Simplify!

Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018

Happy New Year! 

2017 was one for the record books! We braved Emerald City ComicCon for the first time ever and stayed in the most intriguing 100-year-old hotel. We pulled off the most epic surprise trip to Disneyland and had a great vacation with friends. I survived 4 summer camps in a row. I turned 40 and had a fabulous birthday party with lots of friends! We said goodbye to my father-in-law. We moved out (and then back into) our apartment. We spent Christmas in a hotel. I got a t-Rex costume and wore it for Halloween (and fell hilariously in it.) I went from being the Children’s Pastor to becoming the Associate Pastor over Children’s, Missions and Outreach. Our favorite comic book shop closed. We started and ended the year in church. I won a prize in 2 costume contests for my spot-on portrayal of Penelope Garcia. I got to see both of my parents in the same year. I traveled to Texas and saw people I haven’t seen in 10+ years. I put on or helped put on 5 Christmas parties in 10 days. I made a ton of fudge for Christmas in the midst of the Christmas craziness. I kept plants alive! I completed a 365-day Bible reading plan. I heard from God in clear and mind-blowing ways! It was definitely memorable! I’ve laughed. I’ve cried. I’ve lead. And I’ve followed!

I’m not the kind of person who considers the end of the year to be the close of a book. Rather, it is the end of one chapter, and the new year is the beginning of another. I have no regrets, no hard feelings and no negative vibes from the past year. I have excitement and anticipation for the year to come! Here’s to 2018!

Things I will do in 2018:

Write more!

Put myself out there!

Be confident in my calling!

Read through the entire Bible!

My word from God for 2018: Simplify

Writer, noun, writ-er

Merriam-Webster provides this simple definition for the noun "writer": "someone who has written something." 

I haven't written

ups and downs

each day is filled with ups and downs
a roller coaster of emotion
highs of joy
lows of pain
laughter
tears

will we deal with what life throws our way
we must choose
open our hearts
crawl under a rock
embrace
or fear

attitude determines outlook
your choice in how to respond
you determine your next step
choose hope
choose love



For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline.
2 Timothy 1:7

That Silly, Precious Bouquet

Over the years I have been a part of over a dozen weddings...I have officiated, set up food, served as wedding planner, arranged flowers, been part of the wedding party, been the entire clean-up crew. You name it, I've probably done it.

Today I sat there with tissues in hand as I tried to drink in every moment. There were a thousand tiny details, and they were all for my daughter, my baby girl. The background was just what she wanted, her hair and make-up were just right, her dress was beautiful and her smile shined brighter than the sun.

For months we'd planned it. We didn't have a savings account for this, so everything she wanted was hard earned. We scrimped and saved. We sold stuff, and then sold some more stuff. We did without. But most of all we prayed, and God provided the funds. In the end, she got pretty much everything she wanted for her big day.

Over the past few weeks, as the event drew near, people would ask me if I had cried, if it had hit me yet. No, I was handling everything okay, after all there were too many details to concern myself with, I didn't have time to lose it. Until yesterday. Until I tied her bouquet. 

The boutonnières didn't bother me, the coursages were a cinch. And then I made her bouquet. I gathered the flowers and started arranging them. She tweaked them a little. We added the succulents she dearly wanted to have in her bouquet. We tweaked them again. Satisfied with the arrangement, I began to wrap up the stems. Her special request? Knot the ribbon in this fancy way she had seen on Pinterest. 

So I did. 

And then I cried.

I realized at that moment that my baby girl was getting married. That these flowers were for her. That she would be leaving the care and protection of our home and enter the care and protection of another. That life from this point would be different. We would have to share our girl with another family for holidays. We would be including our new son-in-law in family celebrations.  She would no longer be subject to our curfews or our rules. That our car insurance bill would go down. That her make-up bag wouldn't clutter the bathroom counter on a daily basis. 

And all of this because of a bouquet. The bouquet my little blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl, who I swear was just four years old and splashing in puddles yesterday, would carry down the aisle today. I cried. I hugged her hard, and kissed her cheek.

Today, I cried as she prayed with her new husband and held his hand as the pastor pronounced them husband and wife. I cried tears of joy. Beautiful tears of past memories. Joyful tears of a hopeful future. 

Of all the weddings I've helped with, of all the bouquets I have tied...this one was the most precious. That silly bouquet that made me cry, my daughter's bouquet.

The Lesson

Yesterday I had to have "the talk" with my son. He is our youngest, so it has been a while since I had to worry about this sort of thing. I suppose I should be grateful that we made it almost all the way to 8 years old before having an incident. Maybe you've been in my shoes before, so you'll understand.  

It was the middle of Kid's Church and it was one of those Sundays that I live for in children's ministry. The kids are focused, their attention directly on me. I've prepared and practiced. This is the object lesson that will change these little lives forever. Dozens of kids will look back and say..."that was the day I got it, that was the day I finally understood the Cross." The illusion went perfectly, and I prepared to launch into the closing statements that would have tears of joy streaming down the faces of the volunteers as little hands began to pop up to accept Christ...that's when it happened...

My son yells out, loud enough for the whole room to hear...."There's a little lever on the handle! She pushes that and a secret part opens!" That's right, the magic change bag trick, illusion shattered, concentration broken, moment not as powerful as I had hoped. I continued on, hopefully appearing calm on the exterior, but inwardly groaning at the loss of a moment.

Later, we had the talk. I explained that as a PK (pastor's kid), he would be privy to information and secrets about what was coming up that others wouldn't be privy to. As such, I would be counting on him to keep those details to himself, at least until after service.  To paraphrase Spider-Man, "With great privilege, comes great responsibility!"

Of course, that talk might have been a little more convincing if I hadn't been struggling to get the words out between giggles.  By that time my frustration at the lost moment had subsided and I couldn't help but find the whole situation rather hilarious! 

Humor aside, I learned a valuable lesson in humility that day. God wasn't surprised by my son's outburst. He has a special plan for each one of those little boys and girls. He doesn't need me to do a single thing, perform a single illusion, or even say a single word to bring these little ones to Him. God simply allows me to be a part of His bigger plan. It is my job to rely on God, be lead by the Spirit and share Jesus...God will do the rest. I'm humbled, honored and encouraged that God used my son to remind me that His plan is so much bigger than me.

So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. (1 Corinthians 3:7 NIV)

A Tale of Two Visitors

Today, I took a step into the unknown. I put myself out there, tried something new!

For years I had been hearing about this place, about the great food, the great prices, the great people. I saw people sporting the swag...t-shirts, shopping bags. I wondered what the fuss was all about.  

I found myself in the parking lot this morning...I had just intended to grab a cup of coffee with friends nearby, but since I was in the neighborhood, why not check it out? 

As I walked towards the front entrance, I had feelings of excitement, nervousness, wonder. What would it be like? Would the food be as good, the prices as great, the people as friendly?  

I walked through the doors of Trader Joe's and was pleasantly surprised to see, could it be, fresh cut daffodils, 10-stem bunches for only $1.49! I'll take three, please, one for me, one for my friend and one for my mother-in-law...I better grab a cart, just in case. Is it okay to grab a cart? Will I really need it?

Next, I was greeted with the produce section. Bananas sold by quantity not by weight! Beautiful little cherry tomatoes for less than $3!  So far, so good. I began to make my way down the aisles, observing the other customers out of the corner of my eye. 

They all looked like they'd done this before, like they belonged here. I felt like they'd know I was an imposter. Perhaps it was the fact that I was walking through the aisles of health food in my size 22 jeans, perhaps it was the way I wandered through the aisles overwhelmed, maybe there was a neon sign over my head that only they could see, a sign that advertised my inexperience at being in a place like this.

I picked up pasta, sauce...none of the usual name brands here. "Gluten-free" labels shouted at me from everywhere, so I picked up brownie mix for next week bake sale. Locally sourced eggs were next, followed by natural treats for my precious pup.  

Twice I was asked by store personnel if I needed help finding anything. Such nice guys who were hard at work making sure the shelves were stocked and the aisles were clean. There was no judgement in their questions, just general concern for my needs.

As I made my way towards the register I began to wonder, will they take my food stamp card for the grocery part of my bill? Maybe they don't do that here, and I'll be laughed out the door. I mustered the courage and asked the nice girl at the register. Of course they do, she told me, this was a food store after all.

She noticed me eying the cute reusable bags, did I want one?  Of course, isn't that like a rite of passage or something...when you shop here, you gotta have a bag. I bought the bag. As the nice girl packed my purchases into the new bag and I paid accordingly, I was elated by the selection, the prices and the friendliness.

I walked out the door and to my car with a smile. I couldn't wait to text my friend and tell her I finally did it.  She had been telling me for years how much she enjoyed shopping here. She got excited for me and started to tell me all her favorite things about shopping there. Apparently in my newness I missed some of the finer points. I'll have to look into them next time I go, because I will be going back.

As I reflected on my foray into this new world, I wondered if that's what our church visitors experience. 

This Sunday they will take a step into the unknown. They will put themselves out there, try something new!

They have been invited or saw the sign for our church. They see people sporting the swag...t-shirts, jewelry. They wonder what all the fuss is about.

They find themselves in the parking lot.  Feelings of excitement, nervousness, wonder.  What I'll it be like? Will it be all they've heard?

They walk in the front door of our church pleasantly surprised to see, could it be, a bulletin telling them what to expect from the service. They'll take one. Is that allowed, do they need more than one?

They are greeted by the smell of coffee, encouraged to take a cup, free of charge.  So far, so good. They make their way to a seat, observing us out of the corner of their eye.

We look like we've done this before, like we belong. They timidly wonder if others can tell they have never before darkened a church doorway. They wonder if there is a neon sign over their heads that only we can see that says 'sinner'. Are they doing the right thing at the right time? Will they be accepted for who they are? Are the people friendly?

They listen to the preacher talk about God's love for all people. Notes are scribbled frantically. Could this be? Is there hope in this dark world?  This needs to be explored.

People welcome them, ask them if they need anything.  No judgment in their questions, just love and concern.

There is a call for prayer.  Can they go forward and ask someone to pray for them? Is that allowed here? Of course, Jesus said "My house will be called a house of prayer."

As they get ready to leave we catch them eyeing the Bibles, do they want one? Of course, isn't that like a rite of passage or something, you come here, you gotta have a Bible. We give them a Bible. They tuck it under their arm, amazed.

They walk out the door and to their car with a smile. They can't wait to text their friend and tell them they finally did it. This friend had been praying for them for years and encouraged them to find a church. The friend gets excited and tells them they should try it again. They'll check it out next time, because they will be going back.

We often talk about our churches being visitor friendly. Do our visitors feel accepted and loved? Can we help them find the hope they are looking for? Do you remember what it felt like to be a visitor?